The two men I love

I love two men in my life.

I hate two men in my life.

They are capable of the most worst atrocities. They deny me with passion and convulsion. But always gain me back, with a twist of luck. I still not sure why I walk backwards when one should only look ahead.

They have my heart. They hold the map. They have left me here waiting. I don't own a compass but I know south is always where the heart is, but I can't get there on my own.

I love them. They love me, but are utterly scared of my love. I have flames and darts. I hold secrets and laughs. I make them happier than they could ever be brave enough to feel. So they leave me here. Waiting.

I know when the seasons change the winds will also change direction and I will be naturally taken somewhere else.

Until them I sit here and wait, on my world to change.

I wish they could be brave enough to hold the hurricane and my most intense voice, but they are not.

AF